Too many times in my life, I have struggled with the following thought: “God has to be so disappointed in me. I have got to get it together! If I were God, I would have given up on me a long time ago.” Can you relate?
Right now, I am 38 weeks pregnant. I feel like I am not offering the best of myself to anyone in my life, not even to God. Actually, if I am being totally transparent, I would really say that I am not offering the best of myself to anyone in my life, ESPECIALLY not to God. (Honestly I wonder if there is even a “best of myself” tucked away in there somewhere?! Most days I feel like merely a shadow of my normal self.) I have felt ashamed for not praying fervently enough, for doing the bare minimum in my quiet time and for struggling to connect with fellow believers. Shouldn’t I be further along in my walk by now that I don’t struggle with these basic elements of the Christian faith?
These are issues in this season of my life that make me say “I sure hope God doesn’t give up on me.” But His faithfulness in my life has withstood many more tumultuous storms than this one. I grew up in church, but as I entered my teenage years, I became the definition of a prodigal. When anyone in my life asked about my faith, my response was that I did not believe in God. At all. I had completely abandoned Him and tried to cut Him out of my life all together. I sought fulfillment from everything the world had to offer, and after seven years of running from God, He still didn’t give up on me. He reached down into the mess I created for myself and rescued me. It became obvious that God never stopped pursuing me the whole time I was running from Him!
I wish I could say it was all rainbows and daises from there, but it hasn’t been. In these last 5 years of walking with the Lord, I have periodically struggled with revisiting many of the worldly vices that failed to satisfy me in the past. Do I never learn my lesson? Weren’t these faithless betrayals enough to cause God to throw in the towel and give up on me?
No! And here is why. Lysa TerKeurst puts it this way: “God’s love isn’t based on me. It’s simply placed on me.” God doesn’t love us because of the things we do or don’t do. God loves us because it’s who He is. 1 John 4:8 tells us that God IS love. It’s not just something that He does; it is His very nature and character. When I think “If I were God, I would have given up on me a long time ago,” I can be reassured because I AM NOT God. God is not like me or you. He promises not to leave or forsake us (Deut. 31:6), and it is literally impossible for Him to break a single one of His promises (Hebrews 6:18). How reassuring to my weary soul today
Here are some more truth bombs to combat the lie that God is going to give up on you:
• I am convinced and confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will [continue to] perfect and complete it until the day of Christ Jesus [the time of His return]. Phil. 1:6 AMP
• I will cry to God Most High, Who accomplishes all things on my behalf [for He completes my purpose in His plan]. Psalm 57:2 AMP
• The Lord will work out his plans for my life— for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me. Psalm 138:8 NLT
• And those who know Your name [who have experienced Your precious mercy] will put their confident trust in You, For You, O Lord, have not abandoned those who seek You. Psalm 9:10 AMP
Lord, thank you for your faithful character and unfailing love. Continue to reveal the depth of your love to me so I can live loved. Protect me from the lies of the enemy that tell me you have given up on me. Renew my hope and give me a fresh passion to pursue you. In Jesus Name.